So Sick

I have a very raw feeling throat and every bone in my body feels bent. It's like the flu type EXTREME crushing body aches. My stomach keeps flipping out and my lungs are burning. My breathing is back and forth between almost normal to not normal at all. I've thought about going to doctors and emergency rooms but because I have a CONTROVERSIAL disease they will either be completely uneducated or think I have "anxiety" or need to "drink more water" or throw bottles of chemicals at me. So I had my husband run me up to Pocatello on a whim so I can hopefully get some help. I've been very patient in my suffering. Oh it's just Lyme. Oh it will pass. Oh you'll be fine. No. This is bad and different and I have to be selfish and demand some emergency medical attention. My quality of life is interrupted 10-20 times a day. Every hour. Sometimes several times in an hour I have these faint episodes but I never faint. I can't even describe them. They are not normal. Something is wrong. I'm pretty sure I have a fever right now, too. I think if I were anybody else with any other beliefs, I would be knee deep in prescription drugs for the rest of my life but I do NOT want to do that. I just don't think it's the answer to bandaid my ailments. I can handle being in pain and at moments borderline physically handicapped but I need my lungs to work and my nervous system to work and my stomach to work. It's such a shame how modern medicine has failed us so terribly. I know God won't fail me.