Goodbye to this Blog

You can now find me on Facebook as Lyme Jewel or at www.lymejewel.blogspot.com

Portable Sauna

So, I finally decided to open my portable far infrared sauna that arrived from Amazon a month ago. I briefly used it this evening just to test it out. So far, so good. I'll slowly do longer and hotter sessions.

Bone Broth

My doc says bone broth heals the gut. So much for vegetarianism. Boiling the bones of an animal is not my goal in life, which is why I'm glad my husband does it for me. We buy a whole organic chicken, throw it in a pot, boil it for an hour, remove the meat from the bones, then boil the bones with chopped up organic carrots, peas, green onion, and celery. We add a lot of sea salt, too. I just eat the soup for dinner every single evening before I take my mountain of supplements. The whole pot lasts me an entire week. I think you're supposed to boil the bones for a really long time, or leave them in a crock pot for 12-24hrs to get the actual nutrients from the bones.  

Disability & Insurance

Time for a vent

So, we have Critical Illness insurance. I'm looking into filing a claim 'cause my poor husband can only work so much in order to pay for all my treatments. Technically, I was diagnosed Positive for Babesia two months before we got the insurance, found out I had Lyme from a microscope 1 month before we got it, and just found out I have 3 other infectious diseases. I guess only one of which is CDC actually "POSITIVE". So there are so many stupid loopholes and pitfalls or whatever you want to call them. I am SO SICK yet don't really have proof??? I will talk to my doc and see if she can look into it for me. But she's an Osteopath, not an actual MD. Does that matter?

Also, I was looking into disability lawyers and found "Only taking cases for people older than 30 and younger than 65". SERIOUSLY?? I am 29. So what does that mean??? Try again in 2 months when I actually turn 30? Then what proof do I have that I need financial assistance??? My MRI's don't show much as far as my wrecked pelvis ligament. No imaging can show my hidden injury. My chiropractor is the only one who can feel it. And my diseases are hidden, too!

HOW HOW HOW am I ever going to get help when I can't prove I need help?? The CDC and insurance companies and everything that is supposed to be there to help people like me, so far, are impossible to get through to.

I just don't know what to do. I'm such a "gray area", yet sicker and in more pain than some people who are on disability.

I want to work. I want to dance and swim and walk my dogs and pick up my son. I WANT to work. I don't want to sit on my butt collecting disability. But I need to collect something. I'll just have to pray.

(Sorry if this post doesn't make sense. My brain fog and sensory overload is severe right now).

Iodine, Copper, and Zinc

I got my Iodine, Copper, and Zinc results back. Clearly I am deficit in Iodine. I don't believe in "reference ranges" all that much because we are all SO DIFFERENT! I googled Iodine information and I am very anxious to start my supplement. I am glad to see my Copper is normal, and it looks like I'll be needing Zinc. I have had Zinc deficiency symptoms. 

Lyme wrecks everything. Everything is thrown off.

If you have Lyme, it's never JUST Lyme.

Chelation, Myers, & Glutathione IV

So I've gone to the wellness center twice now and have had 2 treatments. One on Monday and one on Wednesday. They say you should give yourself at least a day between so your body can detox what was done. For some reason, the IV HURTS SO BAD! IVs never hurt me at the West Clinic. They're gonna dilute it next time to see if it helps. It feels like my bone is bending in my arm. I feel a zombie fatigue and nausea after the treatments. I get a chelation push to bind heavy metals so they can come out of my tissues? Then I get a Myers IV (b vitamins, vitamin c, etc). Then I get a glutathione push. There's 30 minutes between my chelation push and my Myers. The Myers lasts 30min so it's an hour treatment. The last 30 minutes are SO PAINFUL. I just breath through it. I really have NO idea why they hurt so bad. 

Infrared Mat

My wonderful chiropractor lent me her infrared mat. So I put it on my recliner and turned it on during a football game (which I sometimes can't watch due to sensory overload). It took a while to heat up and then my leg symptoms started. It's a burning fizzing RLS type feeling in my whole legs. Some twitching. My foot arches cramp a little and some of my toes will move on their own. I remember this happening last time I used the mat. I don't see this as a bad thing. It's doing something to my body. 

I think I am going through healing crisis lately because my SI joint has flared so bad AND my 3.5yr old csection scar feels a LOT newer. My SI joint ligament feels newly injured. My upper back at the base of my neck has been seizing, too. My new protocol is definitely doing something. 

Ionic Foot Detox Spa

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B003U4ZKRQ/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?qid=1446086851&sr=8-3&pi=SY200_QL40&keywords=ionic+detox&dpPl=1&dpID=51pcD-TTpYL&ref=plSrch

Above is the link to the Ionic Foot Detox Spa I bought off Amazon. I really think it helped me when I was doing treatments in Idaho so I got one to keep at home. I finally used it for the first time with the help of my husband. It has an infrared belt for pain, which I really needed tonight. I strongly believe I need to detox right now, and I feel a noticeable difference after I use these. 

Capsules

I have so many capsules I have to take and they are so huge. I CANNOT swallow them. I've been so upset and have felt so hopeless. I tried dumping capsules into smoothies but it was so rancid tasting. It tasted like I was taking poison chemical dirt or something. So I went to Good Earth Natural Foods because I thought I previously saw empty capsules for sale there, and thank goodness I was right!!! I bought the tiniest size they have and I can swallow them! I squeeze the big capsules so they're easy to pour into the tiny ones and down they go. They are 1/4 of the size I was supposed to swallow. I am just so grateful! The impossible has been made possible! It will be very tedious and time consuming to do all this but so very worth it!!!

Antibiotics

So I am on 5 days of antibiotics for my klebsiella. I have been terrified of antibiotics since I received my Lyme diagnosis. I don't believe in long term antibiotics and I know how they affect Lyme disease. However, short term for infections like this I agree with. I also trust my new doctor. I was literally so afraid to start my first dose so I had my mom come spend the day with me. So far so good except I'm having Parkinson's symptoms which come with herxing. It could be from Lypo C and/or the Cipro. I have to cut up the pill and take it in 6 pieces and it tastes like I'm putting Comet cleaning powder in my mouth. It's so sick and I'm so relieved I only have to do it for 4 days. So far so good on probiotics too. My monster headache is a little lessened but still very present. I have sensory overload right now and am shaking. I'm still sick with a cold. My temperature yesterday was 100.1 and my blood pressure was very low. 86/65 or something around there.

Lots of New Info

So, all my lab results came back. Here is what they say:

Klebsiella Pneumonia (intestinal bacterial overgrowth)

Lack of Lactobicillus (good bacteria)

Low grade, chronic, Epstein Barr Virus

Low grade, chronic, Mycoplasma Pneumoniae (Lyme Co Infection)

3 MTHFR gene mutations that severely affect B12 and Folate (test yours through 23andme.com)

Heavy metal toxicity from Tungsten, Tin, Mercury, and Cesium

*Still waiting on results of Iodine, Copper, and Zinc

I still have Lyme, too much Cortisol, SI Joint Dysfunction, Babesia, etc etc etc

So my plan is as per my new doc:

B12 Shots once a week for 6 weeks (I had my first today. It made me feel calm and sleepy but a few hours later I have one of the biggest headaches I have ever had).

5 days of Cipro Antibiotics (twice a day) with:
               Probiophage (2/day)
               Microdefense (3 at bedtime til gone)

After I'm done with 5 days of Cipro:

Continue with Probiophage (2/day)
Continue with Microdefense (3 at bedtime)
Start Naturethroid
        Gluthithione
        GI Revive (2/day)
        Magnesium Glycinate
        Adrenal Stress Relief (2 at wake and 2 at lunch)
        Super Multi Plus  (4 capsules/day) NOT ON IV DAYS
     

I have to do 20 IV's of Chelation Therapy with Myers Cocktail and Glutathione Pushes and I think Phosfilditycholine or however you spell it?

Do Liver Gallbladder and Kidney/Bladder support during IV's

LDI Shots will be a last resort

All for the rest of the year with some Wellness Classes too.

I get a special Hawaiian health massage next week and the week after that I get OMT? Osteopathic Manipulation Therapy? Not sure if that's what it's called.

So my life is back to pills and IVs and being sick and herxing and detoxing.

But I'm ready.

Storm Flare & Update

I have been doing pretty well since discontinuing IV treatments. I personally think I was loaded with dead Lyme bugs and my body has actually had time to flush them out. I've got a new Osteopathic Doctor at a wellness center an hour from me and am waiting for bloodwork results to come back.

Meanwhile, as usual, horrendous weather is flaring up every Lyme symptom I have. It's definitely a tea and broth day. 

I've also got some sort of sickness that is having a hard time manifesting itself due to my wonky immune system. I did get a silent migraine that made me lose all sense of taste and smell.

I've just been living off of Vitamin D, Iron, Lypo C, Magnesium, Silver, and sometimes Liquid Minerals. Sometimes I add electrolyte packets, too. A lot of this is from watching Claudia Orgill's YouTube Channel Healthy Preparedness.

I'm iffy on liquid minerals, though, since I'm waiting on heavy metal results. I did a stool test, too. I'm happy my new doc had me do tests I've never done.

I've also found Vega One, which seems to have a lot of good in it. So far, so good. I love having nutritional shakes.

Socializing

Since I have been chronically ill, with 100+ symptoms that wax and wane by the hour, I can't help but think about how I come across to people. I literally must seem rude, anti-social, bipolar, and/or completely disinterested in others. I must seem like a horrible friend or family member. I must seem selfish. I think people who really know me know I am not those things. I'm a helper, I'm a listener, I'm friendly. But it is NOT possible to be any of those things if I don't have enough oxygen at the moment. It's not possible if I have sensory overload at the moment. If I'm in pain, if I'm nauseated, if I'm dizzy. It takes SO much mental, physical, and emotional energy to socialize. My autonomic nervous system malfunctions whenever it wants, and it works whenever it wants. One minute I act completely fine to people, and the next they probably think they pissed me off., which could not be further from the truth. I'm plagued by too many symptoms that come and go. Any one of them could hit me any second out of nowhere. It's very draining on all levels. I also think I bum people out who tell me I look like I'm doing better. Yes, I probably do, AT THE MOMENT. How are you feeling? I'm ok AT THE MOMENT. It's all just up and down. I can't help people like I would like to. If you're in an airplane emergency, you need to put the oxygen mask on yourself before assisting others. I have an oxygen mask, but it's defective. It's unpredictable. Therefore, someone else will have to assist you until further notice.

Paleo Chicken Salad

Coconut Wrap

Organic Chicken grilled in Olive Oil with

Sea Salt

Baby Spinach

Avocado (instead of mayo)

Organic Alfalfa Sprouts

Gala Apples

Grapes

Organic Celery

Green Onions

Raw Cashews

Podcast on Late Stage Lyme and Paleo Diet

Teen Blogger Gabriella Schneider talks about her Late Stage Lyme and living Paleo

https://s3.amazonaws.com/nourishbalancethrive/podcast/Gabriella.Schneider.on.2014-11-04.at.11.29.edited.mp3

Protocol For Now

Morning:

Pure Lean Shake w Supergest

Lypo C & Iron

Vasculin, Cataplex B & E

Afternoon:

Osteo Calm w Sea Salt & Lemon

Lypo C

Vasculin, Cataplex B & E

Silver 

Evening:

Iron

Lypo C

Supergest

Cataplex B & E & Vasculin

Diet:

Organic Cage Free Eggs

Gluten Corn Soy Dairy Free Cereal

Almond Butter

Pineapple Watermelon Cantelope Banana

Organic Salads w Quinoa

Chicken w Turmeric Olive Oil Sea Salt

Paleo Boulder Cookies

Coconut Milk, Avocados, Coconut Wraps

Organic Mustard, Raw Cashews

Coconut Oil

I have been advised to start eating liver and grass fed butter to raise my cholesterol and iron but I think my stomach needs some more testing and TLC before I start loading it with things I know don't sit well with me

IV #42 + Lab Results

So I got my labs back. My vitamin D, iron, and cholesterol are all dangerously tanked! I need to eat eggs, liver, grass fed butter, double my vitamin d supps and my iron supps. A good bit of news is my Hashimoto antibody levels are at 2 now!!! The disease has literally reversed. I saw Borrelia on the Asyra, though. So I still need to fight Lyme. I'm doing a foot detox now and just had a Vitamin C and B IV. 

So, today is my last day at The West Clinic for financial reasons. My mom has spent so much time, energy, and money taking me up here every single week and my husband has worked so many extra hours to pay for it. I am going to try and sustain myself with Lypo C and possible Vitamin B12 shots which I got a prescription for today. I need to get copies of my labs, too. 

For my POTS condition I'll be taking Vasculin and increasing electrolyte intake

Oh another positive note is I've gotten my blood sugar up. I guess it's always like 51 fasting and sits at 80 all day but I noticed after eating tons of fruit, agave, and honey I felt pretty good. I think I need those kinds of sugars. Really sugar is a no no but hopefully that's refined sugar. I'm only eating natural forms of it I think. I had a good couple days because of it I think. I THINK.

I will be searching for someone local to help me on the rest of this journey since it's unrealistic to always go to the clinic and over $10,000 later, I'm out of money. They definitely helped me and I love the staff and it's been torturous at times, but very pleasant at times. I've made treasured new friends and learned so much. The winds of change are blowing, though. I just need to find which way to go. I have a few ideas, though.

40 + 41 UV Light

For my 40th treatment I tried the new UV light therapy they have at the clinic. The needle hurt so bad, and I didn't feel any positive effects, but there were MANY people who felt great. I wish I responded normally to treatments but I just don't, and that is a fact. I've never been able to maintain a 30 or 40% improvement. I've danced between 5-40% for 2 years now, with and without treatments. Something is missing with me. Something on a cellular level I think. I don't respond normally to chiropractic adjustments, acupuncture, supplements, nothing. I always have such a positive attitude when I try new things, but it's to no avail. For my 41st treatment, I did a huge custom bag. I woke up last night feeling like my heart was trying to escape out of my chest. It was terrifying. I have headaches now, too. I did the new foot detox they have at the clinic which usually helps me, but it didn't. The doc loaded me up on supplements again which I appreciate and will take them perfectly for a month. I have Cataplex B, Cataplex E, Cardio Plus (which I think is supposed to be Vasculin), and SuperGest which I haven't tried yet. I'm taking liquid iron and Lypo vitamin C. I'm waiting for lab results on my thyroid, iron, vitamin d, and lipid panel. 

 

Bedridden & Avenues

I don't know why but I feel like if I get out of bed, my heart and lungs won't be able to sustain me. I'm not usually bedridden so I don't know what's going on. I do know that I am so exhausted from these death-like episodes that I don't even want to get out of bed. I feel like if I stay in bed, the episodes can't get me? I feel very numb today. Reading Claudia Orgill's stuff has gotten me through the day, though. I am also depressed about money. I just spent $500 on a portable sauna and ionic detox spa. These things have helped me in the past so I figure I better just own them. I'm just afraid they'll break or suddenly not help me. Tomorrow I am going to make some calls and pursue some new avenues in my fight against Lyme. I will still be continuing my IV's at the West Clinic as long as my credit cards permit, I just feel like I need some local attention, and more attention at that. I just feel so bad how expensive I am. My sickness affects others around me, not just me. More treatments tomorrow. I've flat out lost count. I have never recovered this week. I had several good days in June, but in July I could count the number of good days on one hand. I'm so hammered, especially this week with no good days. I at least thought I would manage one. I had a few good hours I guess but most hours are turmoil. I continue to put on a fake happy face, though. Well, not all of it is fake, I just don't want to drag people down.

Paleo Wrap

Coconut Wrap

Avocado

Mustard

Chicken

Extra Virgin Olive Oil

Turmeric 

Sea Salt

Lettuce

YUM

Health Food Store Gems

Episodes

Well, I'm over my sickness and have had a few more IVs. Still having these episodes. I told the NP at the clinic about them and she says she's at a loss. These are the symptoms of the episodes:

Tongue crawls and burns and feels thick

Chest pressure

Lips numb burn purple

Faint floating falling feeling

Burning skin

Manual breathing

Weak legs

Actual difficulty swallowing

BPV

Sense of doom

I think my entire body needs an overhaul of testing again because a lot of the Lyme should have been killed. I just need to keep fighting and searching.

So Sick

I have a very raw feeling throat and every bone in my body feels bent. It's like the flu type EXTREME crushing body aches. My stomach keeps flipping out and my lungs are burning. My breathing is back and forth between almost normal to not normal at all. I've thought about going to doctors and emergency rooms but because I have a CONTROVERSIAL disease they will either be completely uneducated or think I have "anxiety" or need to "drink more water" or throw bottles of chemicals at me. So I had my husband run me up to Pocatello on a whim so I can hopefully get some help. I've been very patient in my suffering. Oh it's just Lyme. Oh it will pass. Oh you'll be fine. No. This is bad and different and I have to be selfish and demand some emergency medical attention. My quality of life is interrupted 10-20 times a day. Every hour. Sometimes several times in an hour I have these faint episodes but I never faint. I can't even describe them. They are not normal. Something is wrong. I'm pretty sure I have a fever right now, too. I think if I were anybody else with any other beliefs, I would be knee deep in prescription drugs for the rest of my life but I do NOT want to do that. I just don't think it's the answer to bandaid my ailments. I can handle being in pain and at moments borderline physically handicapped but I need my lungs to work and my nervous system to work and my stomach to work. It's such a shame how modern medicine has failed us so terribly. I know God won't fail me.

34-Mad Cow Disease

I had a great Sunday. I was doing very well. Had moments of 60-70% health. Come Monday, I went to the clinic and had my IV, magnet bed, foot detox, and neck/si/stomach adjustment. I felt AWESOME as we left the clinic to drive home minus some shaking. Then about an hour into the drive my blood sugar dropped and we had to drive through torrential rain. I have never herxed while having low blood sugar and I literally thought I was never going to see my family again. After eating I felt a little better but then had a full blown mental and physical breakdown that night. My lungs were burning so bad I could not breath. My stomach was lurching (just learned about that today), I was uncontrollably shaking (like convulsing) AND uncontrollably sobbing. I literally thought I was dying. I have not experienced this since I first started treatment and before I learned I had Lyme disease. I am convinced my Vagus Nerve is on the fritz. I also think my POTS may have returned and I am again having BPV symptoms. This has just been so agonizing and alarming. Especially since I have made progress. To have it all come crashing down has been so devastating. I have one more treatment this month and then I think I am going to amp everything up in August when I have money again. I literally feel like I have mad cow disease. The ups and downs are so severe. It does not seem possible that these experiences are survivable. It would probably be better if they weren't. I know I have to fight this wretched torture disease so I will keep fighting, but lots of prayers are needed for it.

Good Read, Sounds Like Me

http://thebillfold.com/2013/06/i-had-a-mysterious-debilitating-undiagnosable-illness/

Bounced Back

So I wanted to write since I'm not going to treatment next week. My "episodes" of Lyme symptoms are definitely present, but not as frequent and not as severe. I've been keeping a chart and I seem to be having equal amount of bad days and "good days". It used to be 100% bad days, then went to 75% bad days and now it seems to be 50/50. That's 5 months of weekly treatments in. I painted my nails and put makeup on recently and I am actually thinking about getting my hair done. When you are critically and chronically ill, these types of somewhat superficial things are the furthest thing from your mind. This morning was very bad but now I'm doing much better and yesterday was a pretty consistently good day. Generally I'm 30% better with moments of 50 and 60. I know I'll never be 100% and I'm fine with that. I can function and maintain a semi-normal life at a consistent 60-70% which I'm not there yet. The fact that I know now how badly my hiatal hernia is affecting me has been helping me to deal with symptoms better mentally and physically. Lyme symptoms are still near impossible to understand but at least I know when I'm herxing and when I'm not. I hope backing off on treatments is ok. I'm not 100% on the paleo diet anymore but I am definitely sugar gluten yeast soy dairy wheat free and try to always eat things that say 100% or Organic or GMO free. I eat lots of natural sugars lately from fruit and have tons of coconut milk and coconut oil all the time. I'm back and forth about eggs 'cause they have pros and cons for me. I ONLY eat free range organic eggs, though. I have not been taking any supplements but I really should. I've been so lax on them which is bad. I need too better at that. I want to start taking organic plant protein powder. I just need to find a good one.

Herx?

After treatment yesterday I am still feeling VERY bad. It's like a Herx that won't stop. I'm shaking and the left side of my face acts like it is going into Bells Palsy. My hands aren't working right. My legs are wobbly. I'm confused and am having bad sensory overload. My whole body is definitely in healing crisis. I'm not sure what to do. I didn't do an IV today cuz I was too worried about how I'm responding. I just did a foot detox and magnet bed. I cannot stop burping either. 

33

I had a good couple weeks of no treatments. I feel 40% better. Not consistently, though. I did not handle my IV well today. The doc adjusted my stomach, neck, and si joints and that went well. After treatments I felt like my blood veins were vibrating. Kind of an alarming feeling. My heart was acting up, too. It reminded me of my first treatment that I did not handle well at all. Like a full body panic attack feeling but not being afraid of anything. I was doing so well the last two weeks. I ran errands with my 3yr old all by myself and my body and brain were acting like normal. I was in pain and got tired a few times but nothing that was preventing me from being on the go. I almost forgot how bad I was until now.

32

I had an IV on Monday and my evaluation on Tuesday. My blood looks cleaner for sure. Everything points to 30% improvement but that is all. I have a ways to go. I told the doc about my stomach issues and he gave me a chiropractic adjustment for a hiatal hernia, which pretty much confirmed I had one. I KNEW I had one. I'm so glad I am once again validated. I asked the doc if I can try grains and he said to try oats and rice to see how I do, so I am trying this beauty: No corn, soy, dairy, yeast, gluten, GMOs, etc, etc.

The doc also said to take another week break. Either I'm going to feel worse or I'm going to feel better. We'll see if I've been overloaded. Fingers crossed. I've got all new supplements, too.

31 Treatments

I think I've had 31 now. I missed a week 'cause I had the flu and it turned out to be a really good week! I felt like my immune system was doing well and a break from treatments apparentally was good for me. I would think it would be the other way around. I made up for it by doing 4 days of treatments in a row and now I am back to symptoms again. A lot of them are the vertigo and tinnitus and weak, wobbly limbs and dizziness. It's a shame to go back to this when I was feeling very ok. I need to detox or something. Next week I have another evaluation. I'm going to beg to be able to eat oats and brown rice.

25th & 26th Treatment

I asked for the bigger treatments this time instead of the mineral bags I got the last three times and I definitely herxed. I talked to one of the staff about my stomach and a lot of patients and I think I may see a GI specialist. I think there is a possibility I could have a hiatal hernia. I'll have to wait until I can afford to go, though. Things have gotten a little better after treatments and taking some health days for myself. Yesterday I sat outside in the sun and probably should do that again today. I've been drinking greens and taking lypo c and my other supps and ALSO I have decided to go back on my liquid iron. I really do think if I can get my stomach under control now too then I will do much better. I was at 15-20% health but yesterday was 40% and today is 35% so far.

Regression

I am doing horribly. I was up til 2am with breathing problems and burning stomach. I don't know if it was gastritis or a panic attack. My heart beat feels like someone else's. I'm afraid to get out of bed because of my heart and the dizziness. I'm so confused and my body temperature is violently fluctuating. I keep feeling that sick gasp feeling in my body when I am terrified of something. It's happening over and over. I took a ginger bath last night but I don't think it did anything. I don't even notice my pain because my head and heart and lungs and stomach torment are masking it. I need to visit with the doctor on Monday and figure out what is happening to me! I pray this is low iron and vitamin d related. I know I have malabsorption issues too but how do I fix that? I feel like so much more is going on besides the Lyme. I feel like my cells and brain need oxygen. I really need more help. This weakness is all consuming to the point of me being completely worthless. 

23rd & 24th Treatments

I started my iron pills and suddenly experienced horrendous regression. I am literally back to how I was. I am so dizzy, especially when I lay down. My symptoms are identical to BPPV. My period was 6 days late which was UNHEARD of! I can't think clearly. You know when you walk into a room and completely forgot what you were doing? About every two minutes I experience that. I had an anxiety attack at the clinic on Monday about my supplements. I had fallen asleep or passed out or something that day and could not function. The doc took half my supplements away. I still don't know why. I stopped the iron but I still have low ferritin and my red blood cells are still small. I just cried and cried. On Tuesday they gave me a niacin flush IV and oh my gosh! My skin turned into red blotches that felt like chemical burns from head to toe. I felt like I got punched in the stomach and had to shut my IV off. Luckily the torture was short lived and I spent the remainder of the morning visiting with an ALS patient. She makes me grateful to have Lyme. Anyway. There has been so much stress lately and life has not allowed me to be sick. Now I am getting sicker! I can learn to live with pain but I can't live with the dizziness and fatigue and complete and utter confusion and sensory overload. My heart and lungs and stomach have been doing horribly. I could barely harness enough energy to attempt to enjoy and be present for my little boy's first day of preschool. I want so badly to know what happened and why I am experiencing such horror when I am 24 treatments in and was pretty functional but now I can't do anything. This fatigue is completely new, too. I need to just take it easy and allow myself to be sick and be alone in a peaceful atmosphere. I need others to allow me the same. My mind and body feel like they're giving out and the Lyme has taken over. I don't know what needs to change.

In A Nutshell

Found this pic on the Internet. Story of my life!

21st and 22nd Treatment

It was actually a good couple days at the clinic. The receptionist said I looked pretty good. I didn't handle my IV well but I DID get my bloodwork back! Vitamin D is low and my iron is VERY LOW! My hemoglobin is ok but my other 3 levels are completely tanked JUST as I suspected. It's so funny when bad test results are such a good thing! So I am on iron supplements. I also learned my red blood cells are small. Not a good thing so hopefully the iron will help. The nurse practioner was so great and helped me so much and answered so many of my questions. We stayed in my friend's cousin's basement that night because we could not afford a hotel and it was such a last minute blessing! Today I felt ok. I was always happy to visit with my Lyme friends. I had a different IV bag today. I laid on a magnet bed, too, and one of the sweet members of the staff answered a lot of questions I had about my gut. I refilled supplements and dumped a giant chunk of money for a package of ten more treatments. They were so sweet even though I was paying with four different credit cards. One odd improvement I have noticed today is I am laughing louder? I'm hoping these next ten treatments plus my boosted iron will get me better faster. I'd like to do 4 treatments in a row sometime next month, too, if I can get it to work out with everyone. 

Financial Frustration

This is a venting post so forgive me for lacking my usual positivity. I hope I don't offend anyone, either. So, as my finances deplete from Lyme treatments, I try to think of what I can possibly do to help pay for them. I've had incredible friends and neighbors and family members, as well as my church, help me IMMENSLY, and I HATE that so much help only goes so far. I've had 3 GoFundMe pages and have cut down on SO many things in life and again, it's still not enough. I want to have a job so bad. I love working. My last job was my DREAM job and I was completely DEVASTATED to leave it. I keep thinking of ways I could earn money, but I am so beyond worthless. I can't drive, and can't move freely, my brain can't learn new things, I could have a Lyme flare at any moment, I'm not well enough to take care of kids, etc. I tried to get money from my health insurance company but they deemed my Lyme Disease test MEDICALLY UNNECESSARY!!!! I hate so badly that I have to suffer more than I already do because society and the medical world do not understand Lyme! My husband has been working as much overtime as he can and its still not enough. We have critical illness insurance but they need certain test results which the medical world does not have the capability of providing! I'm now contemplating meeting with a disability lawyer but again, what are the odds that he or the government will understand Lyme enough to help me collect it. And why is it that people can drink and smoke and eat their way to cancer, heart disease, and diabetes and collect all the disability they want on top of insurance paying for their treatments!!! I am eating the cleanest diet in the world, I have never smoke or drank in my entire life, and the LAST thing I want to do is sit on my couch bumming off the government! Everything about Lyme is so screwed up. I have 115 symptoms, and no way of getting all the help I need as often as I need it because of the CDC and everyone else that makes those of us with Lyme suffer in the dark. It is so unethical and beyond frustrating. Ok, vent over.

Supplements

So many supplements, so little time. This isn't even all of them. I'm missing a few. I just got a ton of new ones and I'm slowly starting to take them one by one. Lyme affects so many parts of the body!

19th & 20th Treatment

Monday I felt horrible. I did not handle my IV well. The whole week has been horrible with all symptoms returning. I didn't handle sauna well, either. On Tuesday I had my 3rd evaluation and Dr J said my blood looked better, although it didn't look like it to me, and I feel so much worse. I did a foot detox because I feel like it helps, and Dr J loaded me up with like 6 or 7 new supplements on top of the 6 or 7 I'm already taking. It was very disheartening because I feel like I already take too many. The new ones are too big to swallow so I have no idea what I'm going to do. My mind has not been normal lately, either. My mood swings are so abnormal. My dreams and thoughts are alarmingly screwy lately. I was fine this afternoon and completely lost it this evening. I've heard of Lyme Rage, but what do I do about it? Especially when I have PMDD. I swear my hormones and seratonin are completely wack. I wish I could talk to J more but he is always so busy and I don't want to take him away from so many other patients who seem so much worse than me. I think I'm the youngest patient in the room most days. I love all my friends in that room. I need to remember to say prayers for all of them. There's people from Massachusetts, Montana, Washington, Arizona, Texas, Utah, Idaho, etc. Anyway, I also asked them to draw blood for me at the clinic 'cause I hadn't in a while. I did an iron test and CBC and a bunch of other things. I want to test more. I am stressed. I try not to be but this is all so expensive with no help. I need disability. Well, I shouldn't say no help. My husband and mom and my grandma and her nephew have helped tremendously. Our church has helped us, too. But I don't know how much longer they can, and I have such a long way to go.

Juiced Greens

My Chiropractor's Trainer/Nutritionist juices greens for me and I wanted to list what is in them. She just happened to make this drink for her clients and it just happens to be perfect for Lymies:

Celery

Spinach

Kale

Chard

Broccoli

Cucumber

Lemon Juice

Blueberries

Cherries

Coconut oil

Grape Seed oil

Avacado Oil

Stevia

I also found a restaurant by the clinic that juices, too! They do one with green apples, spinach, celery, cucumber, ginger, and lemon. 

17th & 18th Treatment

I love talking to my fellow Lymies at the clinic. I have been more social, and have felt maternal toward new patients. Treatments went ok, but I am REALLY starting to think my iron is low. Something is different and something is wrong. My skin feels like I have slivers or little pieces of glass on it. It actually feels like I have insulation all over my skin. I have to just be calm and breathe through it and accept it. Otherwise I would probably flip out. The drive home was nasty in 30-60mph winds. It was so dusty! Spring weather is unpleasant to travel in, but it's definitely better than winter.

Lysosomal Vitamin C

Well, I took the C, and I Herxed. The left side of my body flared. It wasn't really a pain Herx, but a neuro one. I stuttered and had serious motion sickness and dizziness among more of my usual symptoms. I think it did help me get over my cold, though. I've noticed stress (good and bad) causes flares, too. I can't have any kind of abnormal emotional stimulation. I find if I get emotionally involved in music or a movie, I malfunction! So I have to stay away from "feelings", good and bad. At least that's what it feels like. It's depressing but I don't react to stimulus normally at all. I will say I have had energy for my son's birthday this week, but I was so exhausted from it that I ended up napping. I never nap because my body or my brain makes me feel like I'm not "allowed" to fall asleep. I jump awake or I am so tense and on edge for no reason that I can't calm down enough to relax. I feel like I need to be on alert at all seconds for all the symptoms that pop up at any moment. It's a torturous state to be in, but I'm working on it.

15th & 16th Treatment

I have SUCH a horrible head cold! I went into the clinic this week as miserable as can be. I had 2 IV bags on Monday and was feeling that awful Herx feeling after ontop of the cold. 

On Tuesday I had 3 bags and did a foot detox. I was more chatty with the patients and was given a bottle of Lypo C, which I had read SO much about and heard SO much about. The receptionist just suggest I take it for my cold, but I heard everyone was taking it for Lyme. I heard you can Herx so bad from it so I guess we'll see tomorrow when I take my first teaspoon. One patient today found out her iron was low and I feel like I need to get mine checked. I will ask next time.

I am now back home with this horrible cold that doesn't seem to be getting better or worse. My arms and hands and legs feel so strange and awful and I have no appetite. My eyes have been burning really bad lately, too. I will say I have been eating less and it has been helping with the suffocating burps. 

Cranial Sacral Therapy

So I went for my first Cranial Sacral Massage yesterday and I woke up this morning in a full blown Herx. My left side of my face is numb (but not Bells Palsy), and my heart and lungs are having a really hard time. I'm so, SO weak (wobbly legs, exhausted) and my legs continue to burn. My mental/emotional state has not been good the past few days, either. I feel twitchy and confused. I feel like words and descriptions don't do justice as to how I'm feeling. I wish I could type my actual feelings instead of words about my feelings. Words just make everything sound trivial because there really are no good words to describe how Lyme makes you feel. Hopefully Infrared Sauna will help me some. But I do think the CS Therapy definitely angered the Lyme, and anything that angers Lyme is considered good. 

Guess what she has!

13th & 14th Treatment

Today at the clinic I had Vitamin C IV bag and either hydrochloric acid or hydrogen peroxide. I did the ionic foot detox bath and did my 3rd ozone insufflation bag. I drank my juiced greens and did my healing hypnotism tape. Still doing Paleo as usual and am taking my supplements with every meal. LDM-100, VFT, Clarkia, AF-Beta Food, Vasculin, Salmon Oil w Black Currant Seed, Cataplex B, Spanish Black Radish, AF Beta Food, and Parotid PMG. To be honest I don't even know what most of that stuff is or why I'm taking it. I've been reading about a lot of things I would like to try and take but I don't want to overdo it. These past couple weeks I have had good days and bad days. I've felt glimpses of normalcy but lots of crashes, too. My neuropathy has been flaring, I've been on edge a lot more, my stomach gas/burping still plagues me, and now I have this new dark gray floater in my left eye. It looks like a dust bunny. It's not something in my contacts and it's not something I can rub out of my eye. I knew my eye was being affected by Lyme but this is different and it's somewhat upsetting. 

On Tuesday (my 14th treatment) I had 3 IV bags and we headed home. I've been a mental and emotional wreck the past couple days and I'm not sure why.

12th Treatment

I had a very good day yesterday. I feel like infrared saunas are magic! I felt sick on the way to treatment this morning. We didn't go yesterday because they had to close the office down, and go to Boise to fight a bill. I believe they were successful. Today, I had the big guns again. I did the magnet bed and foot detox, refilled supplements, and prepaid for a second round of treatments (10 total). I had some great talks with patients and didn't feel completely overloaded as I spoke. My brain was working a little better. Tonight I feel tired but wired. Exhausted but like I'm not allowed to sleep? The office is closed next week for Spring Break so I'll be home without treatments.

#lymediseasechallenge

Paleo Pancakes

http://civilizedcavemancooking.com/recipes/breakfast/perfect-paleo-pancakes/

Infrared Sauna

So, today my chiropractor kindly took me to her trainer/nutritionist. I sat in her infrared sauna for the first time and had aroma therapy afterword. I literally felt like it helped my pain and after I got home, I was able to tidy the house and drive across the road to the grocery store. The weather is also beautiful today and my cycle is finally finished so I had a lot going  for me today. I really do think it helped me to feel a bit better. I have not broken a sweat in a VERY long time. The trainer said that was not a good thing. I want to try and go three times a week if possible. I have to bum rides until I feel well enough to drive. I don't want to push myself or overdo it, though.

10th & 11th Treatments

I'm having a hard time typing because my fingers don't want to work right.

My mom took me to the clinic this time. I had my tenth treatment on Monday, and then had my re-evaluation on Tuesday. The doctor told me about other options I have since it's been a month, and I don't feel any different. He told me about a doctor in Park City who does Stem Cell therapy and I have actually been wanting to go see him for injections since he has the option of conscious sedation. We talked about me eating eggs and almonds again and that I no longer have hypotension when I stand up, and my blood looks a little better. To be fair, I'm sure I don't feel much better because he hasn't been hitting me with "the big guns" as he calls them (hydrochloric acid, hydrogen peroxide, and boat loads of vitamin c and magnesium). The first time he did that, I had a horrifically violent herx. So he spent the last month stabilizing me, which I thought was great and smart, but wants to bring out the big guns again. I agreed. He also wants to try a couple different pain therapies on me, too, and added more supplements to help me detox. Then, he sent me in for the big guns.

The big guns wiped me out. My pulse went up, and I felt like I was burning up. I felt completely dehydrated, and my neurological symptoms were magnified. My eyes were burning and really heavy, and my legs were so wobbly. My left eye and the left side of my tongue and face felt weird, and my legs were wobbly. I got SO nauseated, too. However, I remained calm. My mom and the nurse seemed worried and the doctor came in to see me. He said he was not surprised by the reaction I was experiencing, nor was he alarmed. I told him I was not alarmed, either. I remained calm because that is what it feels like when bugs are being murdered. Treatment is just HARD on my body, but I HAVE to stick it out because how else is this disease supposed to be killed and sent into remission??

When I got home, my son was so excited! He ran out the front door and yelled, "Mommy! You came back!". He then gave me the biggest hug I've ever had from him. He'll be three in a few weeks. That was awesome.

I barely ate dinner 'cause I was so nauseated, took all of my supplements, I did a ginger bath, and went to bed. I actually slept very good.

Today I had a hard time in the morning but I usually do in the mornings. My sister-in-law helped me a lot, and I am just trying to take it easy.

Tomorrow I'm doing infrared sauna for the first time, and I think I'll see what else I can do as far as detoxing. I'd like to try dandelion root tea, too.

More Paleo

Spinach, alfalfa sprouts, celery, avocado, coconut oil chicken, turkey bacon, apples, and grapes. So, basically, a chicken salad sandwich minus the gluten, dairy, and nuts.

Hard Day

I have been very weak and twitchy today. I'm also very groggy and confused. My legs have been weak and I feel like I should be moving around when I hold still. My left foot is vibrating and twitching. My eyes burn. I've got the gasping, jump out of my skin feeling that I can't even explain. My chest hurts and my scalp and lips are tingling. My hands and fingers don't work right. Ringing in ears. Neck feels like it can't hold my head up or straight. I was in my little scooter grocery cart at the store and I felt like I was lost and didn't know what I needed or where I was going or what I was doing. My mom was with me so I wasn't afraid but it's really difficult. I'm so hungry. I'm always hungry but it doesn't even feel like good goes to my stomach when I eat. It's just a constant, empty hunger feeling. It's a tormenting feeling. I had to wear sunglasses in the store cuz I have sensory overload. I did bond with a horse on the side of the road today. My mom pulled over so my son could see them but I was the one who ultimately benefitted. The horse was so powerful and calm and I felt like he was sharing his energy with me. I loved it. I wonder if he could smell my disease. I'm trying to watch American Idol but my brain can't process all the lights and noise. I'm a VERY musical person, but the Lyme  takes that from me most days. Some days I can enjoy it, but most days it is just a jumbled noisy unprocessed mess of confusion and irritating sounds.

9th Treatment

I was in SO much pain this morning! I think because I always hurt after neural therapy, a huge snowstorm came through, it's that time of the month, I was up and down 20 times yesterday evening from insufflation side effects, and the motel bed wasn't the most supportive. It was so hard to pack up and get to the clinic but once I was there, I was able to be comfortable. I had an IV bag today and then did a quick hypnotism for pain, and then we were on our way. 

8th Treatment

Today I did a spot check, did my IV bag, did a foot detox, had neural injections in my SI joints, was given a new insufflation bag, and supplements for my heart that have been on back order for a long time. My heart is in bad shape from the Lyme so I am anxious to start these supplements. The NP did my injections and even though they were as horrific as always, she was skilled and kind. I really should be doing the deep Prolozone injections but they are so unbearably painful I'm afraid I literally won't live through it! I talked to the Lyme coordinator and told her how I don't really feel better. She says she thinks I'll definitely need 20+ treatments because I'm a very sick girl and told me it's usually 2 steps forward, 1 step back, 4 steps forward, 2 steps back, etc, with this disease and this treatment. She also says Dr J knows when to lay on the gas and when to hit the breaks and I think he's had to hit the breaks with me a lot 'cause  I'm super sensitive. I was doing ozone and vitamin c in my iv's toward the beginning and I told him how bad I herxed so I haven't had them since. I'm anxious to start them again because I keep reading how much it kills the Lyme. She is just so wonderful and motherly. Every staff member at the clinic is just exceptionally personable and amazing. We spent five hours there today. We took our sweet time because we did not want to return to our dingy motel. 

We are running short on money and are having to really be careful. My son is wearing extra clothes from foster care donations, I was wearing clothes from the DI yesterday, my husband is ordering the cheapest fast food on the menu, and we are in the cheapest, crummiest motel in town (we will be staying at a better one next time where the clinic's patients get a discount). All so we can afford these life saving treatments for me. We talked about selling our furniture last night but I hope it doesn't come to that. I always think about leaving our house and going into a little apartment but really, our house is such a good deal, it's the same price as the apartments next to us. So it would be counter productive, plus, moving would just add extra stress and pressure to my ailing mind and body so we will have to pinch our pennies elsewhere. I HAVE to continue these treatments, even if it means panhandling (ok maybe not, but it has crossed my mind SEVERAL times).

Go Fund Me

We are really starting to need help with these expensive treatments, so Adam's sister made this for us:

Link below to the donations page

http://www.gofundme.com/nfq3rs

Health Days

I have to have at least every other day alone, to myself. I hate it, but my mind and body needs it. They're health days, I guess. They are especially needed on a day after I was doing too much. My brain and body just can't keep up. I have been particularly experiencing sensory overload, and other neurological symptoms and pain the past few days. My tongue is twitching and I keep biting it, and my left fingers aren't working right.  My head is shaking and I'm twitching. The stormy weather and PMDD always make things worse. I feel so awful because I want to go out and help and support friends and family and take care of my son and be active, but it doesn't matter what I want 'cause I can't. I just have to remember to take it easy. My body is going through a massive healing process and I have to allow it to. I feel like when my body decides it has energy, I use it all up as fast as I can because I know it is not going to last. Then I have to take a whole day of rest because I'm too ill and weak to recover any other way. People who see me on energy days would never know the horrible days that follow. Nobody could possible know because I hide from people on those days. I've always been an actress, and always put on a happy face. I don't think I would call it being fake. It's just a defense mechanism and I don't want to make anyone feel uncomfortable. I'm so sick of having to focus on myself because I want to focus on others! I don't want to help myself, I want to help others. But it's like what they say about the emergency oxygen masks on commercial flights. "Put a mask on yourself before assisting others with theirs". 

On another note, pet therapy is real and I'm so grateful these guys stay in bed with me. They are good company. My view on health days:

Also, on health days, I study Lyme disease. As much as my brain will allow. Reading and typing can turn my brain into scrambled eggs so quickly but I do my best. I read blogs and watch YouTube videos made by other sufferers. It helps to remind me that I have Lyme. My brain is still stuck in the "what's wrong with me?" spiral because I have searched and searched for so long. These blogs and videos help me to tell myself, "Shut up, you have Lyme". All the 100+ symptoms I have are LYME symptoms. I know I don't have anything else because everything else was checked!

Here are my favorite blogs:

http://livinglifewithlyme.blogspot.com

www.lymechick.com

http://whenlifegivesyoulyme.blogspot.com

http://lifewithahintoflyme.blogspot.com/?m=1

www.tiredoflyme.com (favorite website)

I'm so glad there's a Kneaders right behind my house. I had no food so I had to force myself to be able to drive despite all my issues today, and I had to force myself to order without stuttering or getting confused. Does this salad look good and taste good? Yes. I even customized it. Do I want this for lunch? No. I wants Cadbury Chocolate eggs for lunch. I also want Oreos.

A Few Of My Favorite Things

1-Taking care of my son

2-Walking my dogs

3-Swimming

4-Dancing

5-Eating cookies

Things Lyme and SI Joint Dysfunction Has Taken From Me

-(see 5 things listed above)

7th Treatment

Today I just had one IV bag at the clinic today and it made me feel really hot and miserable. We left after that to head home 'cause I did not have any money for additional treatments for the day. I felt kinda miserable on the way home and definitely felt miserable when I got home. Just lots of pain and I have not been sleeping well. 

6th Treatment

We had to leave early in the morning to go to treatment today. It's so difficult with morning traffic, having to rush to make it there on time, feeling sick and miserable, hubs having to drive our son all the way to daycare and then drive me 3hrs to therapy, I don't have time to take my supplements, etc. All next month we should be able to stay the night before, though.

Today I had a custom IV bag, laid on the magnet bed, and then I had neural therapy on all my stomach and all my scars. They just hired a female nurse practitioner at the clinic, and I'm so glad they did cuz all my scars are in places I wouldn't want anyone to see but her! My pain tolerance is non existent at this point, and I cried and freaked during the first 20-30 injections, but got brave for the last 20. The nurse was awesome and gave me a chance to be brave between each poke and the assistant let me hold her arm and talk to her. Aside from my meltdown, they were both wonderful. I now have an insufflation thing to do in my hotel room, and I need to take my supplements, and do my hypnotism cd. 

Everyone at the clinic said my color was better today. I told them I think it's cuz of the ginger bath I took last night. Their lyme coordinator told me not to do epsom baths which I was surprised to hear, so I need to stop those. I guess it sucks the minerals out?

Lyme Friendly Lunch

Salmon, Carrots, Celery, Avocados, Apples

If I had lemon, I would have put some in there

So You Know Someone with Chronic Lyme Disease: A Guide to Their Struggle - Tired of Lyme l Lyme Disease Support & Consolation

So You Know Someone with Chronic Lyme Disease: A Guide to Their Struggle - Tired of Lyme l Lyme Disease Support & Consolation

5th Treatment

Today I woke up very groggy and extremely sore. Much worse than yesterday but I attribute it to Herxing. I just feel so yucky. My sacrum injury is affecting the whole left side of my body so badly. Lots of burning and tightness and pressure and discomfort. I hurt my mid back on the left side getting up from a chair yesterday. If I move wrong, it stabs me. Anyway, today at the clinic I have a mineral IV bag, I did a foot detox, and laid on a magnet bed. I also just have to say the staff here are SO sweet and personable. I love them.

4th Treatment

I have actually felt ok. I've had moments of 40% health, which is huge.  I really don't know if I can attribute it to the weather or the treatments. I will just say both. I drove my car a couple days ago, and my sensory overload is not as severe. I definitely have episodes, but it's not as constant I guess. We came up to Pocatello the night before treatment so we wouldn't have to rush in the morning and it helped tremendously. We had time to have breakfast, I had time to take my supplements, and I had time to listen to my medical hypnosis tape before I went in for treatment. Today we just did one IV bag, and then I had around 80-90 injections up and down my spine to help my nervous system. I also discovered their alkaline water sink. My water bottle is filled up. We didn't spend as long at the clinic today, and went to go get food after. It is so hard being Paleo, but I will do whatever I need to clean this contaminated body of mine. I do have a new found love for coconut milk, though. It's so good!
On the downside, my SI joints and hips are still in awful shape, but we really haven't had a chance to treat them, anyway. Oh, also, my IV was turned up to high and when a staff member came to talk to me about nutrition, I was SUPER woozy. I felt feverish and so dizzy. They turned it down, and I was ok after.

Positives

The weather is beautiful today and somehow I have been able to take care of my son. Yesterday I felt I was 20% health and today I am 30%. I'm drinking Lemon doTerra in my water and got some fresh air and sunshine. I'm in a lot of pain today but it is not crushing me like yesterday. It's merely smashing me. I got my lymph system moving today a lot which is good. I can feel that a crash/episode may come at any moment, but I'll take these little windows of "ok-ness" as a good sign. Granted, I am BARELY okay, but okay nonetheless. However, I almost dread these windows because when I do crash, I fall a lot further, and land a lot harder, which makes it actually worse. It's almost easier to always be a frog in boiling water than it is to jump out, and jump back in. I just need to keep being as brave and as calm as possible.

Current Symptoms

I feel so lousy today. I have been dreaming a lot deeper in the mornings and waking up from such a deep sleep feels very weird. My head feels swollen or something. My ears and ringing, my tongue is twitching, and this full body pain that I'm experiencing seems different. Definitely worse. My actual bones feel like they hurt from head to toe, and I have such a bad headache. I feel hunger but don't want to eat ANYTHING because Paleo foods do not satisfy my hunger at all. My stomach muscles feel pulled from injections and my legs hurt really bad. I went to see my chiropractor and she told me I do not need an adjustment and she actually did not feel excess swelling. So I don't know what I'm feeling. I'm really irritable and am having sensory overload. Maybe I'm having Lyme rage? My doc has said nothing about detoxing at home. Like lemon water or epsom baths. I need to ask him. I have not been taking my iron supplements but I'm going to start again to see if they help. I have such an unusual headache in my whole forehead. I go back up to the clinic in 4 days. They don't seem to say a lot about herxing or feeling worse. My neuropathy in my left leg has changed to worse RLS and it now feels like water is dripping down my leg sometimes, which I had read about but not experienced. It feels like electricity sometimes, too. I feel so nauseated and the back of my head at the base of my skull hurts. I keep thinking the 3hr drive is taxing on my body, which it probably is, but this really is probably a herx. I've already been told that my liver and gallbladder don't do a very good job. I hate how weak and shaky and dizzy I am in the mornings. It is SCARY at times. My skin color does NOT look good, either. I know I need to be patient and expect that it gets worse before it gets better, but I think the clinic was expecting me to feel better sooner? I don't know. I am thankful I have such an amazing husband to take care of me and an amazing mom to take care of my little boy. I can't even talk about or think about how badly it pains my heart that I have to leave him all the time or send him to someone else to be taken care of. I NEVER wanted to be that mom. That in itself is almost worse than the chronic illness and pain and misery. I am going to go take an epsom salt bath now and hope it helps, which nothing really has ever helped me ever. I have faith that will start changing, though.

My brain is still having a hard time comprehending and accepting that I have Lyme Disease. I find myself frantically trying to figure out why I feel the way I do because that's all I did all day every day for a year and a half. I would just google symptoms endlessly. I FEEL THE WAY I DO BECAUSE I AM FILLED WITH BACTERIAL PARASITES. They do whatever they want, however they want, whenever they want, as much as they want to my entire body, head to toe. And they are currently being fought, which makes me feel worse and strange and tortured. I just need to be calm and trust the treatment and not worry when I have random flare ups.

3rd Treatment

It was much easier being in the hotel so close to treatment this morning. We went in at noon and today I had medical hypnosis (my first experience ever and it was good), 2 IV bags, about 18 mini injections, and the best SI joint adjustment I've ever had. I'm so blessed to have a doctor who is a one stop shop for all my ailments. Besides the pain, nausea, and two emotional breakdowns, it was a good day of treatments. We watched Freaky Friday and Bruce Almighty and l an easing further into my new Paleo diet. It was hard spending the night away from my son and dogs but they were in good hands with family back at home, but I have no choice but to get used to it. The drive back home was bearable thanks to the adjustment and a tiny bit of Phenergen. 

2nd Treatment

Today at the clinic I laid on a magnet bed while I had a custom IV bag of C, mag, calcium, and a bunch of other stuff I don't remember. After, I had a bag of hydrochloric acid (I think cuz I failed to take my supplements). After that, I went in and had 3 Prolozone injections in my SI joints, which hurt so bad but not as bad as the injections I've gotten from different doctors. I'm lying in a hotel bed now but it may as well be a hospital bed. We are right next to a hospital, actually, and 3min from the clinic. It was way too hard on me and my husband the last time to drive up and back the same day, and it would have been impossible for me today. I have very bad soreness from the injections, and it wouldn't be so bad if my right SI joint wasn't stuck. Maybe they can fix it tomorrow when I go back.

Awareness

Herxing

It's been 4 days since I started treatment, and I have been Herxing so badly I can barely even blog. I've had terrifying seizure-like episodes, horrific chest, lung, and sternum pain, and my bones feel smashed and crushed, and it is all unbearable. I literally tell my husband I want out of my body. This reaction is expected, though, when all the bacteria in your body is being killed by all the goodness you're putting in it. I'm taking Niacin, actual Venus Fly Trap extract, fish oil, and other herbs that I don't even know what they are or why I'm taking them. I'm taking epsom salt baths every day just because everything I google says I should. I'm trying to switch over to Paleo, too. This is all such a horrible shock to my body, and the nausea and stomach pains are one of the worst things from it all. I have been taking 12mg of Phenergen to help me through the day and wish I could have taken it on the way up to the clinic the first time 'cause I was SO car sick. I keep thinking about cancer patients and how hard chemo must be. Tomorrow we drive back to Pocatello for my second visit and I am so anxious to tell them how badly I am Herxing. But it really is a good sign that the protocol I am following is working extremely well. I'm just filled with screaming parasites that are being murdered and it definitely feels like it. I really look forward to asking a lot of questions and clearing up a lot of confusion I have with everything that's going on.

First Treatment

We drove the two and a half hours (180 miles) this morning to Pocatello for my consultation today. When we go there I checked in, they took my blood pressure (which was way worse than I knew), and then we met their Lyme coordinator who was probably the most wonderful person I've ever met in my life. I think she's a nurse? I'll just called her the nurse. She took 4 drops of my blood and put it under a microscope and showed me all the horrificness going on inside it. It was miraculous. Then we went and watched a video on Prolotherapy in a dark, comfy room before meeting the doctor. He typed up everything I told him and put together a protocol for me. He was also wearing Lyme green scrubs. After we met with him, he I started to cry because I was so overwhelmed. I was traumatized at how bad my condition was, I was exhausted from traveling, and I was confused. But I was also relieved to finally be somewhere where I belonged. I'd been to 20-30 different places and this was the first place where I was understood.  After my emotional breakdown, went into another dark comfy room where they hooked me up to an IV. I'm not sure if the lady who was helping me was an MA, CNA, or nurse, but she is very talented with IV's. I didn't feel a thing, and she didn't leave a mark. They put ozone in my blood and then loaded it up with vitamins. It was nice to have everything bypass my stomach since I have such horrible digestion issues. I loved all the magnesium they put in my IV. Magnesium is God's valium. After the IV, we paid, and drove all the way home in the dark.