Health Days

I have to have at least every other day alone, to myself. I hate it, but my mind and body needs it. They're health days, I guess. They are especially needed on a day after I was doing too much. My brain and body just can't keep up. I have been particularly experiencing sensory overload, and other neurological symptoms and pain the past few days. My tongue is twitching and I keep biting it, and my left fingers aren't working right.  My head is shaking and I'm twitching. The stormy weather and PMDD always make things worse. I feel so awful because I want to go out and help and support friends and family and take care of my son and be active, but it doesn't matter what I want 'cause I can't. I just have to remember to take it easy. My body is going through a massive healing process and I have to allow it to. I feel like when my body decides it has energy, I use it all up as fast as I can because I know it is not going to last. Then I have to take a whole day of rest because I'm too ill and weak to recover any other way. People who see me on energy days would never know the horrible days that follow. Nobody could possible know because I hide from people on those days. I've always been an actress, and always put on a happy face. I don't think I would call it being fake. It's just a defense mechanism and I don't want to make anyone feel uncomfortable. I'm so sick of having to focus on myself because I want to focus on others! I don't want to help myself, I want to help others. But it's like what they say about the emergency oxygen masks on commercial flights. "Put a mask on yourself before assisting others with theirs". 

On another note, pet therapy is real and I'm so grateful these guys stay in bed with me. They are good company. My view on health days:

Also, on health days, I study Lyme disease. As much as my brain will allow. Reading and typing can turn my brain into scrambled eggs so quickly but I do my best. I read blogs and watch YouTube videos made by other sufferers. It helps to remind me that I have Lyme. My brain is still stuck in the "what's wrong with me?" spiral because I have searched and searched for so long. These blogs and videos help me to tell myself, "Shut up, you have Lyme". All the 100+ symptoms I have are LYME symptoms. I know I don't have anything else because everything else was checked!

Here are my favorite blogs:

http://livinglifewithlyme.blogspot.com

www.lymechick.com

http://whenlifegivesyoulyme.blogspot.com

http://lifewithahintoflyme.blogspot.com/?m=1

www.tiredoflyme.com (favorite website)

I'm so glad there's a Kneaders right behind my house. I had no food so I had to force myself to be able to drive despite all my issues today, and I had to force myself to order without stuttering or getting confused. Does this salad look good and taste good? Yes. I even customized it. Do I want this for lunch? No. I wants Cadbury Chocolate eggs for lunch. I also want Oreos.