19th & 20th Treatment

Monday I felt horrible. I did not handle my IV well. The whole week has been horrible with all symptoms returning. I didn't handle sauna well, either. On Tuesday I had my 3rd evaluation and Dr J said my blood looked better, although it didn't look like it to me, and I feel so much worse. I did a foot detox because I feel like it helps, and Dr J loaded me up with like 6 or 7 new supplements on top of the 6 or 7 I'm already taking. It was very disheartening because I feel like I already take too many. The new ones are too big to swallow so I have no idea what I'm going to do. My mind has not been normal lately, either. My mood swings are so abnormal. My dreams and thoughts are alarmingly screwy lately. I was fine this afternoon and completely lost it this evening. I've heard of Lyme Rage, but what do I do about it? Especially when I have PMDD. I swear my hormones and seratonin are completely wack. I wish I could talk to J more but he is always so busy and I don't want to take him away from so many other patients who seem so much worse than me. I think I'm the youngest patient in the room most days. I love all my friends in that room. I need to remember to say prayers for all of them. There's people from Massachusetts, Montana, Washington, Arizona, Texas, Utah, Idaho, etc. Anyway, I also asked them to draw blood for me at the clinic 'cause I hadn't in a while. I did an iron test and CBC and a bunch of other things. I want to test more. I am stressed. I try not to be but this is all so expensive with no help. I need disability. Well, I shouldn't say no help. My husband and mom and my grandma and her nephew have helped tremendously. Our church has helped us, too. But I don't know how much longer they can, and I have such a long way to go.